This week has been a very crazy week at work. It seems as though from the moment I get there I am non stop until I leave. It feels as though either every pt has a crazy family member that I have to deal with or they have so many needs that I spend so much time meeting all of what they have to have to get them home or wherever they are going. Today as I was working with a few patients that were discharging, my planned discharges were not going as planned! By the end of the day, I had ended up literally yelling at a nursing home for lying to me about accepting my patient. I was furious. I turned into the social worker from hell and started losing my temper to the point where I really did overreact pretty bad. Even one of the doctors that I work with was standing there asking if I wanted him to give me a prescription for some Valium!!! I declined the Valium and took a time out. One of the nurses jokingly asked me if I was having withdrawal symptoms from the lack of sugar in my life! I had to laugh on that one! But I realized that something was going on in my life to make me react this way and feel this horrible at work.
As I looked at my week, I realized that each day that I have gone home, I have gone home and done something for someone else. Monday night took care of my family, Tuesday night babysat for my goddaughter and now tonight went to a fundraiser for a local health care charity(which was nice). But I haven't had any me time! Part of my road to a healthier lifestyle is getting healthier from both a physical and emotional aspect. Just not having some down time for two days sent me into this social worker from hell persona! I think I have realized how critical this is for me to have in my life. Even tonight when I got home I was off to a local charity- which as I said I did enjoy. But I am so tired now that I will be heading to bed soon with still not a lot of me time. My selfishness has set in I guess, because I feel as though I need my time now! I'm done with putting myself on the back burner!
Although writing in my blog does help me reflect, however I need more. Lately I have been reading random books which has helped me drift out of reality and relax. I don't have to focus on anything when I read. I also have been getting back into my scrapbooking- something that I do enjoy but have not been doing. I haven't done a lot of it but I'm starting again. I'm slowly relearning what I enjoy doing. It's kinda sad when people ask you, "whats your hobbies" and you cant reply. I honestly had no clue what I enjoyed doing because I haven't done anything like "hobbies" in so long. If I wasn't helping out or working, I was going to school and who has time for hobbies when you are going to college and working three jobs! But I'm so thankful that I'm finally figuring out what I like to do. So when someone asks me I can honestly tell them what my hobbies are. Its kind of exciting.
So lesson for the day- to suppress the bitch social worker- find a hobby!
~Amanda
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Monday, September 28, 2009
balancing grief!
So after my brief meltdown last week, I had a good weekend to process things through and think about all the advice everyone was giving me and the need to balance things out. I realized that balance was the key word. Living healthy is a way of life and something that I will do each day forward so being realistic with myself and stopping my negative thinking has to be something that I have to continue to work on. I have taught myself to believe: one- that I have to be perfect and never fail which is ridiculous, and two that when I do fail I must feel guilty for the rest of my life over it, which again is ridiculous. Why am I so hard on myself? Something that I have always told my clients is that we all fall down and make mistakes but its what you learn from them that counts- get back up and keep going. I really need to take my own advice on this one. Each time I make a mistake, mess up and eat something that is unhealthy or put myself in a situation that is a huge temptation, instead of beating myself up about it, realize what I did wrong and move on. Why does this have to be so hard for me? I guess its easier to teach than to listen sometimes.
Another thing that approached me was the idea of grief. I've always been a true believer that we grieve over pretty much everything. Loss of job, loss of family, loss of loved one, loss of relationship- but I never really thought about the loss of food. At my aerobics class tonight I was discussing my recent meltdown with one of the ladies and she thoughtfully said- "your simply grieving- its a process". I realized that she was right. Sometimes I feel like a dumb blond(sorry blonde's) because these things are right in front of me and I never see them. Maybe I don't want to see them. But anyways, I realized that I was grieving over my personal friend and comfort for many years- food. I will also grieve the weight that I hide behind once I lose it - my wall wont be there for me to hide and be protected any longer. I have always been there for everyone else and food has always been there for me. When I'm sad I eat, when I'm happy I eat, when I'm mad I eat- you get the point. I wont have that to fall back on anymore!
Grief is a hard process, a set of stages that you walk in and out of all the time. It is constantly in our lives. Today I came home to find my beloved dog, Pedie who was 16 had died in his sleep. This past year I have lost a lot and will continue to lose and grieve over many things. But its about the process that you go through and the balancing out at the end. Two things I am for sure of: I am a true social worker- I know way too much about grief and the process, and two I am a libra and need balance! Maybe these two will be able to intertwine more in my live and the process will become easier. But again maybe not!
~Amanda
Another thing that approached me was the idea of grief. I've always been a true believer that we grieve over pretty much everything. Loss of job, loss of family, loss of loved one, loss of relationship- but I never really thought about the loss of food. At my aerobics class tonight I was discussing my recent meltdown with one of the ladies and she thoughtfully said- "your simply grieving- its a process". I realized that she was right. Sometimes I feel like a dumb blond(sorry blonde's) because these things are right in front of me and I never see them. Maybe I don't want to see them. But anyways, I realized that I was grieving over my personal friend and comfort for many years- food. I will also grieve the weight that I hide behind once I lose it - my wall wont be there for me to hide and be protected any longer. I have always been there for everyone else and food has always been there for me. When I'm sad I eat, when I'm happy I eat, when I'm mad I eat- you get the point. I wont have that to fall back on anymore!
Grief is a hard process, a set of stages that you walk in and out of all the time. It is constantly in our lives. Today I came home to find my beloved dog, Pedie who was 16 had died in his sleep. This past year I have lost a lot and will continue to lose and grieve over many things. But its about the process that you go through and the balancing out at the end. Two things I am for sure of: I am a true social worker- I know way too much about grief and the process, and two I am a libra and need balance! Maybe these two will be able to intertwine more in my live and the process will become easier. But again maybe not!
~Amanda
Friday, September 25, 2009
rough day!
So today was a rough day!
I went to the Royals game last night. I have to admit it was fun. I did have a beer but no hot dogs or fries! They were tempting but I didn't give in! I did have fun with all the girls. Afterwards when the game was over- we went to Tanners so everyone could continue drinking- I stayed with my water of course! With the drinks came the appetizers. All the delicious fried mushrooms, french fries, fries cheese bites, all the bad food that tastes so good but is bad for you! Being that it was 11pm I felt that one it wasn't healthy to eat this late and two it wasn't healthy to eat any of that food at all! The girls were so sweet that i was with, apologizing for getting the food, but like I have said before, I can't expect people to change their lives just because I'm changing. I mean just because I'm fat and have a problem and they don't doesn't mean that they have to suffer! But it was still so tempting. I won't lie I did have three fried mushrooms. (which i felt guilty for afterwards).
So this morning when I woke up and had to weigh myself and do measurements I found that I had lost 2 more pounds. Which in the scheme of things, 2 pounds is really good. But of course my mind began racing and thinking well if I hadn't had those mushrooms and that beer it might have been more. Again knowing that this is not a weight loss challenge- every time I step on the scale I cant help but think about trying to lose as much as I can. My thinking just went out of control and began to put me in a horrible mood for the rest of the day. So much so that I had a breakdown in the cafeteria after I couldn't find any cooked broccoli- (it really wasn't a pretty site!). I just began hating food and hating myself for being in the situation that I'm in- the need to constantly focus on what I eat. I hate the fact that I cant just walk into a restaurant or the cafeteria at work and just pick something to eat without thinking about the nutritional value and how much fat it has in it. Whoever invented added sugars and saturated fats I truly want to shoot in the stomach right now. I mean why does it have to be this hard.
So after talking to everyone today, I'm still feeling a little depressed. Usually at any point of my many diets I would have said screw this, I'm just destined to be fat and then gone to get a pizza or the first little debbie treat that I could find. However I have made a commitment and I have to fulfill that commitment to myself. I have to learn how to like food again in a healthy sense. Ya know realistically for the rest of my life it is not reasonable to think that I will never be around a group of friends that are ordering appetizers or unhealthy foods. But for right now while I'm learning how to control my temptations and live healthier I think it is okay to remove myself from temptations like that. Eventually I hope it will get to where it wont even bother me or I can reward myself every once in awhile and not have to worry about the consequences. But I have to get better established into a routine, later will come the rewards!
~Amanda
I went to the Royals game last night. I have to admit it was fun. I did have a beer but no hot dogs or fries! They were tempting but I didn't give in! I did have fun with all the girls. Afterwards when the game was over- we went to Tanners so everyone could continue drinking- I stayed with my water of course! With the drinks came the appetizers. All the delicious fried mushrooms, french fries, fries cheese bites, all the bad food that tastes so good but is bad for you! Being that it was 11pm I felt that one it wasn't healthy to eat this late and two it wasn't healthy to eat any of that food at all! The girls were so sweet that i was with, apologizing for getting the food, but like I have said before, I can't expect people to change their lives just because I'm changing. I mean just because I'm fat and have a problem and they don't doesn't mean that they have to suffer! But it was still so tempting. I won't lie I did have three fried mushrooms. (which i felt guilty for afterwards).
So this morning when I woke up and had to weigh myself and do measurements I found that I had lost 2 more pounds. Which in the scheme of things, 2 pounds is really good. But of course my mind began racing and thinking well if I hadn't had those mushrooms and that beer it might have been more. Again knowing that this is not a weight loss challenge- every time I step on the scale I cant help but think about trying to lose as much as I can. My thinking just went out of control and began to put me in a horrible mood for the rest of the day. So much so that I had a breakdown in the cafeteria after I couldn't find any cooked broccoli- (it really wasn't a pretty site!). I just began hating food and hating myself for being in the situation that I'm in- the need to constantly focus on what I eat. I hate the fact that I cant just walk into a restaurant or the cafeteria at work and just pick something to eat without thinking about the nutritional value and how much fat it has in it. Whoever invented added sugars and saturated fats I truly want to shoot in the stomach right now. I mean why does it have to be this hard.
So after talking to everyone today, I'm still feeling a little depressed. Usually at any point of my many diets I would have said screw this, I'm just destined to be fat and then gone to get a pizza or the first little debbie treat that I could find. However I have made a commitment and I have to fulfill that commitment to myself. I have to learn how to like food again in a healthy sense. Ya know realistically for the rest of my life it is not reasonable to think that I will never be around a group of friends that are ordering appetizers or unhealthy foods. But for right now while I'm learning how to control my temptations and live healthier I think it is okay to remove myself from temptations like that. Eventually I hope it will get to where it wont even bother me or I can reward myself every once in awhile and not have to worry about the consequences. But I have to get better established into a routine, later will come the rewards!
~Amanda
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
fighting temptations
So this week has gone by pretty fast! I spoke with one of the producers of the show today and realized that I'm halfway to looking at a thirty day progress time. Kinda scary. He reminded me today that this isnt a weight loss challenge as I sometimes think, however a healthy lifestyle change. But part of me cant help but want to lose as much weight as I can before going back on national television! But Im still remaining healthy and learning to live this way! But just keeps me motivated I guess!
No matter how much motivation I have- I still get tempted! Of course I knew I would be fighting temptations and cravings. I knew that I would have to resist the dessert at lunch or the candy bar in the afternoon and the first week was great- I thought wow- this is going to be easier than I thought! Wrong! This week I have been getting a lot of cravings. Today the girls brought in candy at work and thats all that I could think about! Its sad because the thought is always in the back of my mind that there is a snickers bar in the break room 100 feet from me if I ever wanted it! Today at lunch my co-worker, whom I love had a huge york peppermint pattie, which I didnt really want anyways, but she said to me when she opened it, "Oh Im sorry I shouldnt have opened that in front of you!". Although it is hard for me not to grab the chocolate from her hands sometimes, no one should change their lives just because I'm changing mine. If someone wants to eat a candybar then by all means go ahead! I can't live in a world for the rest of my life without being surrounded or seeing chocolate and desserts! I have to learn how to resist my temptation and say no, but handle things in moderation. I have found that sugar free jello pudding helps in the evenings when i really crave sweets!
Tomorrow I am going to a Royals game and I cant help but think that a hot dog with a big beer and some french fries sound so delicious right now! But I'm going to pack my healthy dinner- some carrots, maybe a tuna sandwich or a salad- and be good with that. I cant promise that I wont drink one beer but one reward here and there wont be too bad, will it? Who knows, I guess we'll see!
~Amanda
No matter how much motivation I have- I still get tempted! Of course I knew I would be fighting temptations and cravings. I knew that I would have to resist the dessert at lunch or the candy bar in the afternoon and the first week was great- I thought wow- this is going to be easier than I thought! Wrong! This week I have been getting a lot of cravings. Today the girls brought in candy at work and thats all that I could think about! Its sad because the thought is always in the back of my mind that there is a snickers bar in the break room 100 feet from me if I ever wanted it! Today at lunch my co-worker, whom I love had a huge york peppermint pattie, which I didnt really want anyways, but she said to me when she opened it, "Oh Im sorry I shouldnt have opened that in front of you!". Although it is hard for me not to grab the chocolate from her hands sometimes, no one should change their lives just because I'm changing mine. If someone wants to eat a candybar then by all means go ahead! I can't live in a world for the rest of my life without being surrounded or seeing chocolate and desserts! I have to learn how to resist my temptation and say no, but handle things in moderation. I have found that sugar free jello pudding helps in the evenings when i really crave sweets!
Tomorrow I am going to a Royals game and I cant help but think that a hot dog with a big beer and some french fries sound so delicious right now! But I'm going to pack my healthy dinner- some carrots, maybe a tuna sandwich or a salad- and be good with that. I cant promise that I wont drink one beer but one reward here and there wont be too bad, will it? Who knows, I guess we'll see!
~Amanda
Sunday, September 20, 2009
revelation- beginning my rewrite!
So tonight I feel as though I could write a book!~ but I wont!
Now that I'm opening myself up- so many things are starting to click. Things that I have probably already known in the past, but have never been able to incorporate into my life. Things that I can tell everyone else to do or teach others how to do, but have never been able to do before. I guess it's all about putting myself out there and starting over.
Today I went to church and heard some things that completely inspired me. No matter what people believe- I think that we all have to have some sort of higher power- whether its God, Buddha, Allah, whoever- something to put our faith into. What is getting me through my struggles is my higher power- God; that's is who I have been trusting in to keep me on my path. I have always believed that God will point me in the direction that I need to go with my life, that whatever happens happens. However as the pastor was speaking today he was talking about who writes the story of your life. Are you an actor or a victim, are you an editor or a co-writer. Who has the power? I cant stop thinking about this because I realized that all along I have been living my life as a victim when it comes to my weight and my social life. I haven't been living my life pro-actively- I stand back and let it happen. Now give me a client or a patient and I will advocate until my eyes fall out- and will be more proactive than anyone every expects- however with my own self I am not like that- Until now. Now I am actually becoming a writer of my own story. I am actually taking steps to make my life happier, healthier and joyful. While I thought about this in church, at the end the pastor said this- sometimes you have to do re-writes! So now I think this is my chance of rewriting my book, my life. Of course I'm still letting God steer me in the direction that he wants, however I think that it is important that I'm in the drivers seat with him. I'm not just standing back and letting what happens happen. I cant stop hearing a Third Day song play over and over in my head, "today I found myself- feels like I'm born again, feels like I'm living". Even though everyone knows all my flaws and my low self esteem, I feel so much more confident in myself. I really do feel like I'm starting over and I'm actually living!
~Amanda
Now that I'm opening myself up- so many things are starting to click. Things that I have probably already known in the past, but have never been able to incorporate into my life. Things that I can tell everyone else to do or teach others how to do, but have never been able to do before. I guess it's all about putting myself out there and starting over.
Today I went to church and heard some things that completely inspired me. No matter what people believe- I think that we all have to have some sort of higher power- whether its God, Buddha, Allah, whoever- something to put our faith into. What is getting me through my struggles is my higher power- God; that's is who I have been trusting in to keep me on my path. I have always believed that God will point me in the direction that I need to go with my life, that whatever happens happens. However as the pastor was speaking today he was talking about who writes the story of your life. Are you an actor or a victim, are you an editor or a co-writer. Who has the power? I cant stop thinking about this because I realized that all along I have been living my life as a victim when it comes to my weight and my social life. I haven't been living my life pro-actively- I stand back and let it happen. Now give me a client or a patient and I will advocate until my eyes fall out- and will be more proactive than anyone every expects- however with my own self I am not like that- Until now. Now I am actually becoming a writer of my own story. I am actually taking steps to make my life happier, healthier and joyful. While I thought about this in church, at the end the pastor said this- sometimes you have to do re-writes! So now I think this is my chance of rewriting my book, my life. Of course I'm still letting God steer me in the direction that he wants, however I think that it is important that I'm in the drivers seat with him. I'm not just standing back and letting what happens happen. I cant stop hearing a Third Day song play over and over in my head, "today I found myself- feels like I'm born again, feels like I'm living". Even though everyone knows all my flaws and my low self esteem, I feel so much more confident in myself. I really do feel like I'm starting over and I'm actually living!
~Amanda
Friday, September 18, 2009
big day!
So today was the big day- the day the show aired! I was so nervous to see myself. I did the live interview on the kansas city morning show which was great and enjoyed it alot! But as the day got closer to 3pm I could feel the butterflies in my stomach- there was no turning back! I wasnt nervous about showing my wieght or being on television, I was really nervous about people seeing a different side of me that i dont often portray. All my life I have accomplished everything that I put my mind to. In my professional side I portray myself as being a very confident, assertive professional- which I am. However it's completely different with my social life. This is a side that I dont often show people. So for the nation to see me sad, depressed and self-conscious it was hard! I know that everyone has two sides to them, we all have a wall that we put up to guard us, but I have never put mine down before. Maybe that is why I can't battle my wieght, in fact I know thats probably why- I have never been able to put my wall down to others. Now reality has hit me in the face and I have put my wall down to the whole nation! Its funny because when I was working as a substance abuse counseler, I often taught a group about building walls, unhealthy walls. In this group there was a story where a man builds a wall from rocks which were all insecurities or addictions or some defect in his life. It is only with help of a higher power that he is able to tear it down and ask for help. Why can I teach this stuff but not actually incorporate it into my own life. I think I have finally asked for help to tear down my wall and everyone will be able to see!
I have definately started my emotional journey! But I have so much support that I shouldnt have any problems battling this. I am so grateful for all the encouragement and inspiration that I have gotten from my friends, co-workers and family. It is amazing!
Oh the best part of the day- I weighed for the first time since the show- really I cant believe this but I have lost 11lbs and 4.5 inches from my waist! I made my mom find another scale in the house because I didnt believe the first one, but the second one also said 11lbs!!! Super exciting!
~Amanda
I have definately started my emotional journey! But I have so much support that I shouldnt have any problems battling this. I am so grateful for all the encouragement and inspiration that I have gotten from my friends, co-workers and family. It is amazing!
Oh the best part of the day- I weighed for the first time since the show- really I cant believe this but I have lost 11lbs and 4.5 inches from my waist! I made my mom find another scale in the house because I didnt believe the first one, but the second one also said 11lbs!!! Super exciting!
~Amanda
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
excitement!
So today was a great day! First I finally found directions to my new pedometer on line and figured out how to work the thing!!!! Second I met to have drinks with some friends and all I really wanted was water- thought I might really want a drink once I got there but I didnt! So that was good! Third I found out that I am going to be doing a live interview on Kansas city Live morning show on friday before the Dr. Oz show airs at 11am. I am super excited! As you couldn't already tell Im very social and love talking!!! It will be fun!
So as I was driving a friend home tonight I had a great conversation about my wieght loss journey. Right now my life has really centered around this, which is great because in the past it never has and that probably has been a lot of the problem! But as she was talking, she starting mentioning how this really was going to change EVERY aspect of my life. I have always thought that if I losed wieght , ya I would be healthy and probably go on more dates but I never really thought about how much this would change my life. I have always stayed in my comfort zone as the "fat friend" and have never left that. I always have felt comfortable joking about being fat and making fun of myself and so on, however if I lose wieght and actually get healthier and skinnier, i wont have that to fall back on. I realize that I actually have been my own enemy- not food (although the crappy food didnt help!) I will have to step out and find ways to focus on myself in healthy outlets. As I look at it now, its actually really scary. My whole world is going to change. Not only from the way I eat and exercise but to the way I feel about myself and care about myself. All I can hope is that I will become healthier both physically and emotionally and have a higher self-esteem so that I will thrive in my new life! I know that it will be a lot of work, but I guess that is why it is called a journey! I actually truly believe in myself for one of the first times- I KNOW I can do this.
~Amanda
So as I was driving a friend home tonight I had a great conversation about my wieght loss journey. Right now my life has really centered around this, which is great because in the past it never has and that probably has been a lot of the problem! But as she was talking, she starting mentioning how this really was going to change EVERY aspect of my life. I have always thought that if I losed wieght , ya I would be healthy and probably go on more dates but I never really thought about how much this would change my life. I have always stayed in my comfort zone as the "fat friend" and have never left that. I always have felt comfortable joking about being fat and making fun of myself and so on, however if I lose wieght and actually get healthier and skinnier, i wont have that to fall back on. I realize that I actually have been my own enemy- not food (although the crappy food didnt help!) I will have to step out and find ways to focus on myself in healthy outlets. As I look at it now, its actually really scary. My whole world is going to change. Not only from the way I eat and exercise but to the way I feel about myself and care about myself. All I can hope is that I will become healthier both physically and emotionally and have a higher self-esteem so that I will thrive in my new life! I know that it will be a lot of work, but I guess that is why it is called a journey! I actually truly believe in myself for one of the first times- I KNOW I can do this.
~Amanda
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
show date!
So today I just got word that the show that I taped will be airing this week. It will be on Friday- 9/18 at 3pm on NBC and 7pm on KBWE. I'm very excited, also a little nervous- I actually have not seen it so it will be interesting to see how it turns out.
I got my book and pedometer in the mail today. First of all, why do they have to make pedometers so complex- I mean this thing is high tech- why couldn't they just send me the cheap walmart brand that I knew how to work. I am still trying to figure this thing out! The book seems pretty informative. I cant wait to read through it all. I basically read through the diet and exercise plan and its pretty much all the same foods that I'm eating right now. A basic meal plan for the day is:
breakfast- eggs or bowl of cheerios with soy milk
snack- yogurt w/fruit or nuts
lunch- salad or veggie burger or tuna on whole grain
snack-fruit/raw veggies or some whole grain crackers
dinner- fish/chicken w/whole grain rice and veggies
snack- popcorn/ jello
Pretty simple really. I haven't gotten into the book yet, just started, but I like it because it is about mapping out mind over matter. Today I was talking with my manager and what she said is so true- most of the time Im not physically hungry- I'm mentally hungry- its a mind thing. From what I see this book addresses what types of foods can help with that and how to control that. I'm very anxious about getting into this and finding out more details. Always before when I have gotten a diet book I immediately scroll right to the back of the book where the diet plan is- recipes and the list of the daily meal plans. After about 2-3 days I throw it down and don't pick it back up. So I never read the book and find out about the physiological stuff that I probably should. So I am committed to read this book and find out why I cant stop eating. ( I probably know why but I would like to know why from a scientist point of view!!!). Once I begin learning I start sharing!
Another thing that that happened today besides all the eating healthy and water aerobics-yay!- was that tonight I watched the season premiere of the Biggest Loser! I have to say that usually I load up on the junk food while watching, but not tonight- I literally cried like a baby all through the show. The part that touched me the most was Shay- the social worker who was the heaviest person who has ever been on the show. Some of the things that she said I could empathize with her completely on. I think that watching this season is different for me because I can actually say that instead of sitting watching on my couch saying, "Oh i wish I could do that". I am actually doing it this time. I truly do feel their pain! Why is this such a epidemic in our society. It is so scary to think that half of our nation is obese and overweight. Its scary to think that my children might be going through the same challenge that I am now. Hopefully now, hopefully the cycle stops here.
Off to bed- ready for aerobics tomorrow- can already feel my abs hurting!!! Feeling the burn!!!
~Amanda
I got my book and pedometer in the mail today. First of all, why do they have to make pedometers so complex- I mean this thing is high tech- why couldn't they just send me the cheap walmart brand that I knew how to work. I am still trying to figure this thing out! The book seems pretty informative. I cant wait to read through it all. I basically read through the diet and exercise plan and its pretty much all the same foods that I'm eating right now. A basic meal plan for the day is:
breakfast- eggs or bowl of cheerios with soy milk
snack- yogurt w/fruit or nuts
lunch- salad or veggie burger or tuna on whole grain
snack-fruit/raw veggies or some whole grain crackers
dinner- fish/chicken w/whole grain rice and veggies
snack- popcorn/ jello
Pretty simple really. I haven't gotten into the book yet, just started, but I like it because it is about mapping out mind over matter. Today I was talking with my manager and what she said is so true- most of the time Im not physically hungry- I'm mentally hungry- its a mind thing. From what I see this book addresses what types of foods can help with that and how to control that. I'm very anxious about getting into this and finding out more details. Always before when I have gotten a diet book I immediately scroll right to the back of the book where the diet plan is- recipes and the list of the daily meal plans. After about 2-3 days I throw it down and don't pick it back up. So I never read the book and find out about the physiological stuff that I probably should. So I am committed to read this book and find out why I cant stop eating. ( I probably know why but I would like to know why from a scientist point of view!!!). Once I begin learning I start sharing!
Another thing that that happened today besides all the eating healthy and water aerobics-yay!- was that tonight I watched the season premiere of the Biggest Loser! I have to say that usually I load up on the junk food while watching, but not tonight- I literally cried like a baby all through the show. The part that touched me the most was Shay- the social worker who was the heaviest person who has ever been on the show. Some of the things that she said I could empathize with her completely on. I think that watching this season is different for me because I can actually say that instead of sitting watching on my couch saying, "Oh i wish I could do that". I am actually doing it this time. I truly do feel their pain! Why is this such a epidemic in our society. It is so scary to think that half of our nation is obese and overweight. Its scary to think that my children might be going through the same challenge that I am now. Hopefully now, hopefully the cycle stops here.
Off to bed- ready for aerobics tomorrow- can already feel my abs hurting!!! Feeling the burn!!!
~Amanda
Monday, September 14, 2009
so it begins
Well this weekend was the beginning of my challenge. I went grocery shopping- which sucked by the way!!! I began walking which I have to say even though I'm really out of shape I do enjoy. I started back at my aerobics class tonight and had so much fun with the girls. They are so awesome and so motivational! Its been so encouraging for me to be at work and around friends, I was so scared that I was going to be embarrassed by this, but its quite the opposite- I'm so motivated by it and empowered. I didn't realize how many supportive people are in my life until now. I guess when you never ask for help you forget how many people are around you that are actually there offering support and help. This has truly been an eye opener.
So back to my grocery shopping and diet. I shouldn't say diet- I hate that word! It honestly is not a diet- it is a lifestyle change. Its not about counting calories or carbs, or eating so much of this or that- its about eating what is healthy. So, for all that you want to know: Dr. Oz and Dr. Rozien (Dr. Oz's partner) say:
1. Four foods to stay away from are:
-Saturated fats- do not eat anything that has more than 2g per serving of saturated fat. This includes animal fat, most butters, lard, coconut oil and palm oil.
-Added sugars and syrups- anything that ends in "ose" in the first five ingredients- table sugar is better than artificial sweeteners- avoid high fructose, lactose, sucrose, glucose, etc..
-Trans fat- most margarine's, butter spreads, cooking oils- when using butter or margarine- use cholesterol fighting margarine such as promise.
- Anything that is not 100% whole grain- no white flour, no white bread- no white rice.
2. Walk at least 30 minutes everyday- no excuses
3. Eat 3 meals with 2-3 snacks between- never be hungry
Basically its eating the right foods- it should be simple, but its a lot harder than it looks. It took me forever at the grocery store because I had to read every label- and then realized that everything that I had been eating was crap!!!! But what I have been told is basically stay on the outer lanes when going grocery shopping- stick to produce, meat/protein and dairy. Oh and the hard thing for me is that I actually have to cook it!!! I cant just stick a frozen pizza in the oven anymore, I actually have to cook food! But I am pretty proud of myself, I did make a pretty good beef and broccoli last night- I know it sounds easy but for me that's pretty challenging!!!
oh and the five important things to remember -
1. take a multi-vitamin every day
2. take an omega 3 fish oil vitamin every day
3. take two baby aspirin to help lower inflammation each day
4. Drink at least one glass of green tea each day
5. and each plenty of broccoli.
Okay so I think I just ruined a segment of the Dr. Oz show for you, but oh well!!! So I'm still in the learning process my self. This is all the info that they have given me. The Dr. Oz show is sending me a book with recipes and more detailed plan so once I get this info I will share it. Hope this has helped!!!
~Amanda
P.S. I just have to add- I'm really sad about Patrick Swayze- I loved him! Normally I would use this as an excuse to eat a cherry pie or a ho ho or something- but i just enjoyed a nice small bowl of sugar free butterscotch pudding!!!!
So back to my grocery shopping and diet. I shouldn't say diet- I hate that word! It honestly is not a diet- it is a lifestyle change. Its not about counting calories or carbs, or eating so much of this or that- its about eating what is healthy. So, for all that you want to know: Dr. Oz and Dr. Rozien (Dr. Oz's partner) say:
1. Four foods to stay away from are:
-Saturated fats- do not eat anything that has more than 2g per serving of saturated fat. This includes animal fat, most butters, lard, coconut oil and palm oil.
-Added sugars and syrups- anything that ends in "ose" in the first five ingredients- table sugar is better than artificial sweeteners- avoid high fructose, lactose, sucrose, glucose, etc..
-Trans fat- most margarine's, butter spreads, cooking oils- when using butter or margarine- use cholesterol fighting margarine such as promise.
- Anything that is not 100% whole grain- no white flour, no white bread- no white rice.
2. Walk at least 30 minutes everyday- no excuses
3. Eat 3 meals with 2-3 snacks between- never be hungry
Basically its eating the right foods- it should be simple, but its a lot harder than it looks. It took me forever at the grocery store because I had to read every label- and then realized that everything that I had been eating was crap!!!! But what I have been told is basically stay on the outer lanes when going grocery shopping- stick to produce, meat/protein and dairy. Oh and the hard thing for me is that I actually have to cook it!!! I cant just stick a frozen pizza in the oven anymore, I actually have to cook food! But I am pretty proud of myself, I did make a pretty good beef and broccoli last night- I know it sounds easy but for me that's pretty challenging!!!
oh and the five important things to remember -
1. take a multi-vitamin every day
2. take an omega 3 fish oil vitamin every day
3. take two baby aspirin to help lower inflammation each day
4. Drink at least one glass of green tea each day
5. and each plenty of broccoli.
Okay so I think I just ruined a segment of the Dr. Oz show for you, but oh well!!! So I'm still in the learning process my self. This is all the info that they have given me. The Dr. Oz show is sending me a book with recipes and more detailed plan so once I get this info I will share it. Hope this has helped!!!
~Amanda
P.S. I just have to add- I'm really sad about Patrick Swayze- I loved him! Normally I would use this as an excuse to eat a cherry pie or a ho ho or something- but i just enjoyed a nice small bowl of sugar free butterscotch pudding!!!!
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Meeting Dr. Oz- starting my challenge!
Okay- So here it is, my story and how it begins! I recently walked into something that has and will change my life forever! the story of my life goes- Im always helping everyone else and not myself. However I was faced with the realization that I could not keep up this behavior and had to change if I wanted to continue to even be here. And so it begins....
A few weeks ago I was walking through Zona Rosa, literally minding my own business. I was with my best friend Heather and my sister Katie and my Goddaughter Bella. As a usual two-year old, Bella was extremely cranky and all I wanted to do was to find a play place for her. Low and behold we found Marshalls where once we walked in two tables with signs for "the Dr. Oz Casting Call" were in front of the play place. I put Bella down and began googling on my phone why Dr. Oz show was here. With much encouraging from my sister, I went up to inquire about why they were there, and there he was, a very flamboyant man name Terrance- that I would soon come to love and hate all at the same time!!!! He had me fill out some forms and began telling me how fat I was!!! I met Kathy, another producer for the show and of course they instantly fell in love with me!!! haha. The next day it took off and there they were at my house filming - interviewing me, filming at Pour boys buying unhealthy foods and pretending to make house calls while at work! I honestly thought it would end there- nothing would come of it, however a few days later I get a phone call from some producers and Terrance saying that they are flying me out to New York to do a taping with Dr. Oz. I was excited, however still a little hesitant. But hey, who could beat a free trip to New York City!!!!
So last week I went to New York City! It was amazing!!! My first time out there and I have to say I loved it!!! The show was great- the show is about becoming healthier! It is a challenge and I dont want to spoil all of it, but a special guest was brought on to help me and a few others lose wieght- yes it was Bob from the Biggest Loser!!! (Let me tell you how much I thought I was going to pee my pants when I saw him, and held his hand!!!!) But basically he is coming to my home in 30 days to see how im doing, Dr. Oz's partner is helping me by calling me daily and keeping me on track and they are flying me back in 60 days to see how I have done and how much progress I have made. I am so excited!!! I so needed this. I am actually going to get healthy now and have someone to help me do all the right things.
So as I begin my journey, back to my old ways- I do want to help others too! I have gotten alot of my co-workers on board and i want so bad to get my family on board! i want all whom I love to become healthy as well! So this blog is not only for me- because lord knows there will be times when I will be frustrated and wanting to give up! But it is for others as well! So hopefully people will keep the encouragement coming and I will be way skinnier/healthier in 60 days!!! hahahaha
~Amanda
A few weeks ago I was walking through Zona Rosa, literally minding my own business. I was with my best friend Heather and my sister Katie and my Goddaughter Bella. As a usual two-year old, Bella was extremely cranky and all I wanted to do was to find a play place for her. Low and behold we found Marshalls where once we walked in two tables with signs for "the Dr. Oz Casting Call" were in front of the play place. I put Bella down and began googling on my phone why Dr. Oz show was here. With much encouraging from my sister, I went up to inquire about why they were there, and there he was, a very flamboyant man name Terrance- that I would soon come to love and hate all at the same time!!!! He had me fill out some forms and began telling me how fat I was!!! I met Kathy, another producer for the show and of course they instantly fell in love with me!!! haha. The next day it took off and there they were at my house filming - interviewing me, filming at Pour boys buying unhealthy foods and pretending to make house calls while at work! I honestly thought it would end there- nothing would come of it, however a few days later I get a phone call from some producers and Terrance saying that they are flying me out to New York to do a taping with Dr. Oz. I was excited, however still a little hesitant. But hey, who could beat a free trip to New York City!!!!
So last week I went to New York City! It was amazing!!! My first time out there and I have to say I loved it!!! The show was great- the show is about becoming healthier! It is a challenge and I dont want to spoil all of it, but a special guest was brought on to help me and a few others lose wieght- yes it was Bob from the Biggest Loser!!! (Let me tell you how much I thought I was going to pee my pants when I saw him, and held his hand!!!!) But basically he is coming to my home in 30 days to see how im doing, Dr. Oz's partner is helping me by calling me daily and keeping me on track and they are flying me back in 60 days to see how I have done and how much progress I have made. I am so excited!!! I so needed this. I am actually going to get healthy now and have someone to help me do all the right things.
So as I begin my journey, back to my old ways- I do want to help others too! I have gotten alot of my co-workers on board and i want so bad to get my family on board! i want all whom I love to become healthy as well! So this blog is not only for me- because lord knows there will be times when I will be frustrated and wanting to give up! But it is for others as well! So hopefully people will keep the encouragement coming and I will be way skinnier/healthier in 60 days!!! hahahaha
~Amanda
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