Catching up!

So after my amazing weekend last week with Bob and my thirty day update with the producers, I came down with some sinus/bronchitis crap that really kept me in bed all week. I don't want to say the flu(its the forbidden word right now!) but it really did feel like it! I think because I was so exhausted from the weekend and me being sick, I was so weak that I literally couldn't get out of bed for a couple of days straight. I missed some work and didn't work out or exercise all week. I felt horrible. I honestly didn't even have the strength to take a shower- I know a little gross! I still managed to lose four pounds though- probably because I was too weak to get out of bed to eat! But hey Ill take it! I'm feeling much better now and was back to work on Friday. I was even out in public at a scrapbook thing on Friday and sat! But unfortunately I haven't been able to exercise! But tomorrow is a new week which will put me back on track and I will be able to once again get back to my routine.

I honestly can say that I have felt a little lost without my schedule. Like today I got up and went to church and decided to come home and watch some movies and rest up for work tomorrow. But I have had the urge to eat constantly all day. I haven't but because I am not constantly doing something and have been out of a routine all this week it has been hard for me to control my temptations. I have noticed that once I allow myself to do something a little, I do it to the extreme. Before I was only drinking water, this week because I was sick I started drinking orange juice and now I feel like I need to drink orange juice all the time. I think this shows me that if I were to go back to eating fats and sugars or fast food all the time, I wouldn't stop. Sometimes I find myself saying, well once I lose all my weight I can splurge more and eat this or that, but the reality is I can't. That's why I say over and over this is a lifestyle change not a diet. Because once I start allowing myself to splurge I will keep doing it more and more and soon Ill be back to 295lbs or higher.

Unfortunately the reality of it is that its an addiction. An addiction that I will battle with my whole life. In church today, it was interesting because the pastor was talking about actually standing up and fighting for causes and making a difference in life, rather than just letting life pass you by. With this whole experience I've learned that this is my cause. Obviously I've always been able to help others and advocate for things I believe in, but this is different. I'm actually excited about getting people motivated about making healthy changes. I'm excited to change for the first time in my life. It really feels great.

So tomorrow back to my routine and back to my new way of life!

~Amanda